Seton – you are three weeks old today, and what a three weeks it has been.  Your mom and I are glad to have you home.  We were really scared to bring you home, but it’s definitely where you belong.  It is so amazing to spend time with you and watch as people around you continue to be changed simply because you are God’s miracle.  We are so thankful for you and love you more every day.

Shortly after my last post, about 8 pm Saturday night, Shawna and I decided to mosey down to that little place inside BSA called the ER.  Yep, Seton managed to completely displace his feeding tube from his body.  All in all, it’s not a major emergency or problem, but we were less than excited about taking a two week old baby into the ER with whomever and/or whatever might be lurking around him.  They were sensitive to our situation with him and got us into a room quickly and the whole process was complete right at two hours.  I am the lucky guy who has visited the ER many, many times and typically budget at least 6 hours of time – we felt fortunate.

What would happen just two days later?  That’s right kids.  It happened again.  This time it was morning and during the week, so the procedure was a bit easier.  An order was sent to the radiology department and we were taken back to an x-ray room to have the tube placed and checked.  Two hours, done and done.  Can you hot glue a tube to a kid’s face so it doesn’t move??  Joke.

Backtracking just a bit, we had our first real office visit with Dr. Habersang Monday morning.  Quite routine and uneventful, for which we are thankful.  He slightly altered his breathing treatment and that was about it.  We’ll go back again next Monday.  Seton is still stable and overall seems pretty comfortable.  He has been sleeping pretty well and has required less suction the last couple of days.  He is getting lots of love, attention, and care.  We are very grateful for all of those things.  Our family and friends deserve immense praise for sacrificing sleep, time, work, and life for us.

Shawna and I are slowly getting more adjusted to home life and working hard to establish some routines and normalcy in our days.  It’s tough sometimes and is definitely going to take some time to get most things figured out.  There are still moments in time, and even days, where we are exhausted and frustrated and low on hope.  Then I look back two weeks at the condition of our lives and hearts at that point…and rejoice.  We are so much further and farther today than we were then.  Those were truly the days I wasn’t sure I would survive.  The memory is strong, but the pain is distant.  I guess that’s the beauty of grace.  Even when it is not seen, it’s still there, and it makes the next day easier.

I pray the “comfort” we are establishing isn’t setting us up for a fall.  My natural self is still battling anxiety and fear of unknown days and outcomes, but my spirit wakes up hopeful each day.  Our physical eyes don’t see much progress or change, but we know without a doubt our God is more than capable.  We continually renew our minds for healing and hope for Seton.

Zane

"Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up." Galatians 6:9