My alarm screamed at me far too early this morning, but it was time to head to the hospital for Shawna’s amniocentesis. We got there just after 7 am and began preparing for the procedure. Not being familiar with the actual process, there were some very slight anxieties. We were in a delivery room at BSA as a precaution incase Shawna went into labor, which is a risk of amnio. Dr. Holmes arrived around 7:35 and made sure everything was ready. We were wrapped up by 7:55. The procedure itself took about a minute and half and was nearly painless (easy for me to say). Overall, it seemed to be a big ado for nothing…but that’s precisely what we wanted. The next hour or so was spent hooked up to a monitor to make sure the baby and Shawna had no reaction. Somewhere in this whole thing, someone felt the need to shove a needle in my arm too and send a couple vials of my red juice along for the ride. The needle was big, and it really hurt – I deserve sympathy here. J
This afternoon was our visit to the NICU at BSA and our appointment with the neonatologist, Dr. Haider. He has reviewed all of our tests and reports to date and wanted to go over it with us. He helped familiarize us with the usual workings of NICU and what choices we’ll have in the course. He and Dr. Pickens will be running the show shortly after the first breaths are taken.
The initial findings from the test today should be back around Monday, and the full work-up will take about two weeks to complete. As soon as we have something to relay, we’ll give you another update.
Two weeks ago, our life was really good. I was finally to a place in my thoughts where I was eager to be a dad. Most of you know having kids wasn’t my top priority yet, so I’ve had to go through quite a transformation in the past 6 or 7 months. Lately, I’ve been quietly excited about what this is all really going to mean. Before the whirlwind our life has become, I’d never had a thought about making an end of life decision for a baby. Today, that is the exact discussion we had with Dr. Haider. That is crushing to process.
It doesn’t mean we are giving up, and it doesn’t mean our hope is gone. It does mean our spirits are puny today, and we just don’t know what to do sometimes. But I don’t want to leave this on a sour note, so believe with us Jeremiah 30:17, “But I will restore you to health and heal your wounds declares the LORD.” I feel like a broken record now, but your outpouring of prayers and words has meant the world.
Zane
Oh my heart breaks for you all so bad. I hate that you are having to go through all of this. Nothing is worse then someone telling you your baby is sick and has a problem.
ReplyDeleteLarry and I are praying for you all daily, I do not think a minute of my day goes by that I do not think of you all.
Please let us know if there is anything you need. We will continue to pray for you all and for your baby.
Dearest Zane and Shawna,
ReplyDeleteYou and your precious son have been in my prayers and in my heart every morning and every evening, and often every hour, since your mom, Terri, and your Aunt Dianne shared with me the concerns your doctors have. I have also been reading Life with The Olivers in which you have so graciously opened your heart and shared with all of us the latest medical updates and how you both and your baby boy are doing. I am standing with you, praying for, and believing in, a miracle for your baby that he will be healed in Shawna’s womb and that God will continue to give you the strength, comfort, peace, and wisdom that you need, as well as everything else that God knows in His wisdom that you need and your baby needs.
While praying during the past few days, I believe the Lord keeps putting in my heart something that He wants me to share with you. I hope that I can express this right (Lord, please give me the words to say this) so that you will really understand what a blessing you are being to the rest of us as you walk with such Grace through what surely must be one of the greatest times of challenge and concern that you have ever faced. The faith and courage with which you are both handling yourselves and sharing with others is nothing short of inspirational. Even those of us who have strong faith in God and believe with all of our hearts in our Lord are being strengthened in our faith by your example. And the Lord has put it in my heart to share with you that there are people in your life who have not had a strong faith, or who perhaps have not believed at all in Christ, or who perhaps once believed but have fallen away from believing, who are watching you and being deeply touched and moved by your commitment to the Lord and faith in God during this time of crisis. There can’t be too many things that happen in life that could be more difficult than fearing one’s baby might not survive. And yet you both are living testimonies to what faith can do and to the fact that, during such a tremendously difficult ordeal, God will hold you even closer and lift you up in His gentle arms and carry you each step of the way until you can find your footing on solid ground again. You are both living testimonies to what it means to be faithful and to trust in the Lord and to believe that God has a plan for each of our lives and to believe that God is Good and to believe that God can and does work miracles. By so generously sharing your pain and your heartache and by showing how you stand strong on God’s promises and trust in the Lord with all of your heart, you are witnessing for the rest of us what it truly means to be Christian. In short, you are giving to the Lord in all that you do and all that you say and all that you share, and I am humbled by your generous and gracious spirit. Thank you for being who you are and for so generously letting the rest of us into a very tender and private part of your life. I know with everything in me that, out of the sorrow and pain you have had to endure and the way that you have witnessed for the Lord throughout, you are bringing people closer to the Lord or perhaps even to the Lord for the first time in their lives. God is so good, and I believe He has great blessings in store for you, Zane and Shawna and little baby Oliver! May God continue to lift you up, surround you with love and comfort, and bring to you all of the healing that you need.
Believing in a miracle with you and loving you every day and always,
Your Aunt Janet
P.S. When you feel up to it, please cut and paste the following link into your browser and listen to this short video by Ray Boltz. While my words may have fallen short of what I was trying to say, this song says it perfectly. God bless you both and your baby boy.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y3hC9i0dh0M
Zane and Shawna, Our hearts - and our prayers - go out to you in this roller coaster of extreme and gut-wrenching emotions and decisions you're dealing with right now.
ReplyDeleteLove and blessings,
Jackie Mereness
"Heavenly Father, this is such a hard road for Zane and Shawna right now! In all their uncertainty and heartache, there is such a need for Your Power, Your Strength, Your Peace, Your Wisdom!!
We believe You are present and that you can give them and their family and this unborn baby all that's needed in these difficult moments. Please hold them close and let Your glory be seen as these next days unfold. Our prayers are raised through your Son's name - Amen."
Shawna and Zane, I can't know what you are going through because I haven't been there before. However, like you, I do know what it like to love a child beyond anything you ever thought was possible...to know that you are the parents of a child God gave you. I am amazed by your strength and comfort in the Lord. Lean on Him during those times of anxiety, frustration, fear of the unknown, and confusion. You are in good hands. Love you guys, Sara Nickson
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